As the incomparable Mr. Fred Rogers once sang: “There are many ways to say ‘I love you.’”
If you’re a penguin – well, for starters, I’d be very impressed by your ability to read this. But also, you’d say your “I love yous” in part through an act known as pebbling, or giving small stones to others as a demonstration of affection.
Humans, in our funny, usually-tech-enhanced way, engage in this act, too. We show care to one another by sending out small tokens, snacks or little bits of the internet that we find funny, charming or otherwise uplifting. I do this frequently. I’ll send a meme here, a coffee there; a choral video here, a ridiculous recipe cooked outdoors for no discernible reason there.
Of course, with each one sent, I’m not just saying, “Have you heard this piece?” or “I thought you could use a pick-me-up!” or “Get a load of this jamoke cooking outdoors for no discernible reason!” What I’m really trying to express to the recipient is… I love you. I thought about you. You’re the kind of person who is loved and thought about.
It’s a harrowing time. So, as I do feel connected to you – yes you, the person reading this… I’ve gathered some pebbles below. Bits of wonderful nonsense designed to make you smile, if only for a while, each one packaged in the lengthy-text-message format I use most often in my own pebbling practice.
Just because I was thinking of you. Just because I love you.
“I mean, haven't YOU always wondered what it’d be like to hook up with a snowman?”
No seriously, it’s a movie called “Hot Frosty,” it’s coming to Netflix this holiday season, and the premise – please be seated for this – is that Frosty the Snowman comes to life as a hot dude (Dustin Milligan) and, I presume, sexes a woman (Lacey Chabert) into appreciating and loving life again. While generally not a fan of a movie in which a man solves a woman’s problems, I do love the idea that this man is born of precipitation.
“This one still means a lot to me. I hope it brings you some peace.”
My friends Adam and Matt Podd, who are composers, arrangers, directors and instrumentalists, organized a battalion (which auto-corrected to “butt ton,” lol) of New York City singers and instrumentalists during the early days of the pandemic to bring a hymn to new life. And it is, really, so full of life. I don’t think I’ve ever watched this without crying, and I’m not about to start now. But then again, tears aren’t always a bad thing – they usually spring from love, am I right?
“The whole thing is just dudes biffing it on repro knowledge. Stellar.”
I know this isn’t funny – but also, at the same time, it’s kind of hilarious. The not-funny part comes from knowing that our ridiculous system values these guys’ views on our bodies equally, despite them not knowing a thing about how we function and survive. (And from the sorry state of sex education in the U.S.) The few seconds of joy derived from their floundering doesn’t negate that. But that joy is so, so good all the same.
“Isn’t she just the best thing that’s ever happened to us all?”
Ilona Maher is on a whole other level. She is big, she is strong, she is gorgeous, she is an Olympic medalist … she is incredible. Also, what a perfect pairing of song (from “Encanto”) and performer. I’m not happy that “Dancing With the Stars” showcased a grifter this year as part of its roster of well-knowns, but I can’t help but love Maher rockin’ it out on national television week after week.
“I could watch this every day, forever, and still not be sick of it.”
If Tom Holland did nothing else with his life besides this 2017 masterpiece, it would be a life well lived. Heaps of talent and gender-bending goodness and staging befitting the GODS, all in one place. I’ve been obsessed, I’m obsessed now, I will remain obsessed. Break in case of national emergency. (By which I mean, watch this right now.)
“Not to be dramatic, but this song should perhaps be awarded a Nobel Prize.”
RIP Adam Schlesinger, the undisputed king of pastiche and wit. He and Rachel Bloom took the genre of ‘80s girl pop and channeled it into a celebratory and cautionary anthem of the act of gathering, as women scorned by men are wont to do, and just going to TOWN on them. P.S. You simply must listen to the end.
“I took my son apple picking recently, and thought about this the entire time.”
It’s less that I laughed out loud, and more that I straight-up brayed like a donkey (ie. the one featured in the sketch) throughout this 2019 clip. “Saturday Night Live” is in a really odd place now of attempting political humor while at times still trying to maintain some outdated “both sides” perspective. Toothless nonsense. But one thing it does so well, in general, is tap into the hilarious potential of absolute weirdness. Aidy Bryant and Kate McKinnon are, as always, a golden duo. Host Woody Harrelson is a twisted joy. Watch, watch, watch.
“Saoirse Ronan gets an entire panel of dudes to shut up in world-record-breaking time.”
So satisfying. Especially because she had to wait for actors Paul Mescal, Eddie Redmayne and Denzel freakin’ Washington, along with host Graham Norton, to stop joking about the idea of women needing to protect themselves through seemingly unconventional means long enough to make her point. But once she did … snipers WISH for that level of precision. Whew.
"Get a load of this jamoke cooking outdoors for no discernible reason!"
I need you to help me understand these. Why is spanking involved in the literal first seconds of this video? Does anything get washed? Is that murderer’s machete really the proper tool for the job? Is this really a practical camping solution? Are “dry tufts of grass” really the best surfaces for working with open flames and vats of boiling fats? DOES ANYTHING GET WASHED?
