{"id":83393,"date":"2026-04-08T11:20:38","date_gmt":"2026-04-08T15:20:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thestoryexchange.org\/?p=83393"},"modified":"2026-04-08T11:31:25","modified_gmt":"2026-04-08T15:31:25","slug":"aubrey-plaza-pregnancy-renews-old-question-how-long-are-women-expected-to-grieve","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thestoryexchange.org\/aubrey-plaza-pregnancy-renews-old-question-how-long-are-women-expected-to-grieve\/","title":{"rendered":"Aubrey Plaza Pregnancy Renews Old Question: How Long Are Women Expected to Grieve?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Actress Aubrey Plaza has found new love and is growing new life, after losing her estranged husband in January 2025. Some have a problem with this – a reaction based in age-old sexist pressures. (Credit: Wikimedia Commons<\/a>)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

This week, the world learned that Aubrey Plaza is pregnant<\/a> with her first child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The 41-year-old actress confirmed<\/a> that she and partner Chris Abbott, also a performer, will be having a baby together this fall. It\u2019s good news for Plaza, who had been rocked by the loss of her estranged husband, Jeff Baena, to suicide in January 2025.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While appearing on Amy Poehler\u2019s \u201cGood Hang\u201d podcast late last summer, Plaza spoke about her grief over Baena\u2019s death. She likened the experience to \u201ca giant ocean of awfulness.\u201d She added that \u201csometimes, I just want to dive into it, and just, like, be in it. Then sometimes, I just look at it. And sometimes, I try to get away from it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Either way, Plaza concluded, \u201cit\u2019s always there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n

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Related<\/h4>\n <\/div>\n \n
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\n \n \"Aubrey\n <\/a>\n <\/div>\n
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\n \n Aubrey Plaza Discusses Grief\u2019s Unwieldy, Shape-Shifting Nature\n <\/a>\n <\/h3>\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n\n

But now, it appears she has found some level of happiness<\/a> after weathering that pain and confusion. Grief persists, of course \u2013 but we still exist, and eventually, we do start living again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not that the general public is concerned with such things, of course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The announcement of her pregnancy was met by a wave of social media users branding Plaza as heartless for being with Abbott, and being pregnant with Abbott, after the loss of her former partner. (Whom, it should be noted, she had been separated from for months before his death.) As if a stranger\u2019s comfort with her life should even matter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But in rather callous terms, people felt comfortable all the same expressing that they felt Plaza had been a bad partner to Baena<\/a> in hindsight, that Hollywood had rendered her unfeeling<\/a>\u2026 that she is a terrible human being<\/a> for finding a new love and building a family with him. Comment<\/a> after comment<\/a> after comment<\/a> derided her for the act of moving forward. Even the New York Post centered<\/a> Baena\u2019s death in their coverage of her pregnancy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First things first: Shall we look at the numbers around how men handle illnesses in, and the deaths of, their female partners?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because research tells us that men are six times<\/a> more likely than women to abandon partners who fall gravely ill, and are 42% more likely<\/a> to have remarried within two years following the death of a partner than women are. Those tempted to scrutinize Plaza\u2019s timeline should keep in mind that men are study-proven to move on from such struggles and losses at far faster rates.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bigger truth, though, is that it isn\u2019t our business how a person navigates that \u201cgiant ocean of awfulness\u201d one finds themselves in when grief<\/a> comes, regardless of their gender. There\u2019s no socially agreed-upon timeline of propriety when it comes to how long a person must mourn, or how long someone must be alone after a death before they are \u201callowed\u201d to start imagining, even building a new life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But as is often the case in our society, stemming back to Victorian times<\/a>, when a widow was expected to wear black for years after her husband’s death, there is disproportionate pressure heaped upon women to publicly show their grief.  That expectation \u2013 particularly when it appears in the wasteland of social media comments \u2013 often comes from people who have been lucky enough not to suffer such profound losses themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n

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Related<\/h4>\n <\/div>\n \n
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\n \n During Stressful Times, These Women Help Women Heal Through Art\n <\/a>\n <\/h3>\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n\n

On Poehler\u2019s podcast, Plaza summed up her experience with grief, up to that point, as an exercise in simply putting one foot in front of the other. \u201cOverall, I\u2019m here and I\u2019m functioning. I feel really grateful to be moving through the world. I think I\u2019m okay. But it\u2019s, like, a daily struggle \u2013 obviously.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a person, especially one whose work has brought joy to others, has found some modicum of peace and hope for herself after living in survival mode, that\u2019s something to celebrate \u2013 not deride.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or, if one simply can\u2019t handle that, there\u2019s always the option of minding one\u2019s business. ◼️<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The actress is expecting a child. Her ex died by suicide just over a year ago, some noted in response. Society is still not OK with widows moving on, writes Candice Helfand-Rogers. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":62,"featured_media":83394,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"autoblue_enabled":true,"autoblue_custom_message":"Actress Aubrey Plaza has found new love and is growing new life, after her ex-husband's January 2025 death. 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