{"id":78838,"date":"2025-06-12T09:31:46","date_gmt":"2025-06-12T13:31:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thestoryexchange.org\/?p=78838"},"modified":"2025-08-11T10:10:35","modified_gmt":"2025-08-11T14:10:35","slug":"bi-women-who-date-men-arent-just-faking-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thestoryexchange.org\/bi-women-who-date-men-arent-just-faking-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Bi Women Who Date Men Aren\u2019t Just \u2018Faking It\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Bisexual women like singer Billie Eilish (pictured) are not just feigning queerness for clout – and saying so causes real harm. (Credit: Wikimedia Commons<\/a>)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Singer Billie Eilish is bisexual \u2013 she has said so herself<\/a>. Sometimes even in, shall we say, \u201ccolorful\u201d terms<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But now that she\u2019s dating actor Nat Wolff<\/a>, a familiar and rather groan-worthy trend is once more rearing its ugly head: Perpetuation of the idea that Eilish, like other bisexual women<\/a> who frequently date men, is not an actual<\/em> member of the LGBTQ<\/a> community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This week, as news of her burgeoning relationship broke, social media channels have been awash in comments that publicly doubt Eilish\u2019s bisexuality. \u201cI guess being bisexual is pretty cool until it\u2019s time to actually date the same gender,\u201d reads one X post<\/a>. In another, she and other bisexual celebrities with paramours of the opposite gender, like singer Miley Cyrus or actor Timoth\u00e9e Chalamet, are collectively labeled as \u201cqueerbaiters<\/a>,\u201d or individuals who feign non-heterosexuality as a way of bolstering their popularity.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, because publicly identifying as queer has traditionally opened doors, rather than closing them. (Note: That is sarcasm.)<\/p>\n\n\n

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Related<\/h4>\n <\/div>\n \n
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\n \n \"LGBTQ\n <\/a>\n <\/div>\n
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\n \n Gallup Poll: More Women Than Ever Identify as LGBTQ\n <\/a>\n <\/h3>\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n\n

This practice is called bisexual erasure<\/a>, or the tendency to dismiss bisexuality as either performative \u2013 especially if the bisexual person in question is not publicly with a same-sex partner \u2013 or as an identity that doesn\u2019t actually exist. Eilish\u2019s high-profile example is part of a broader, persistent problem. And it\u2019s one that impacts bisexual women more, research indicates. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Indeed, a 2021 study<\/a> published in the European Journal of Social Psychology found that people are most likely to assume that bisexual women are actually heterosexual, while at the same time assuming that bisexual men are actually concealing homosexuality \u2013 both offensive leaps in logic, but the difference is that individuals are completely stripping bisexual women of their queerness in their minds. All the while, anti-LGBTQ discrimination is disproportionately harming women<\/a> in general, and bisexual representation<\/a> in pop culture is waning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The combined result? Increased health problems<\/a> among bisexuals, according to GLAAD, including upticks in anxiety and depression, as well as elevated incidences of heart disease and lower cancer-screening rates.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The hurt is real, is the point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps you\u2019ve heard the phrase: \u201cYour feelings are valid.\u201d These words speak to affirming the emotions that course through us whether they feel rational or merited, or not \u2013 sometimes in amounts beyond our understanding, and always beyond our control. Elation, anger, grief, jealousy\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The same very much applies to queerness. One\u2019s feelings are valid in this regard, too, and there are no qualifications to that statement. No need for a minimum number of experiences with same-sex partners before membership is granted. And no need to discuss private moments, or private feelings, if one is not comfortable doing so. There is no litmus test for verifying one\u2019s sexuality \u2013 and it\u2019s certainly not something one person can confer upon another. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This world takes so much from women, in particular. But no one gets to take away our feelings \u2013 or our queerness. ◼️<\/p>\n\n\n

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Related<\/h4>\n <\/div>\n \n
\n
\n \n \"LGBTQ\n <\/a>\n <\/div>\n
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\n \n 6 Motivational Quotes From Awesome LGBTQ Entrepreneurs\n <\/a>\n <\/h3>\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n <\/div>\n <\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bisexual women, especially, are often accused of being LGBTQ phonies or \u201ctourists.\u201d But there is no burden of proof for queerness, Candice Helfand-Rogers writes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":62,"featured_media":78839,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"autoblue_enabled":true,"autoblue_custom_message":"Bisexual women like singer Billie Eilish (pictured) are not just feigning queerness for clout - and saying so causes real harm, this op-ed 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